Your Employee Goes Around You, Don’t Take It Personally—Yet

Imagine this:

You have an employee who has a concern. Instead of bringing it to you, they go directly to your manager.

You don’t even know there’s a problem until your manager brings it to your attention.

Now you’re caught off guard and maybe even a little irritated.

Why didn’t they come to you? Was this disrespectful? Did they not trust you? Were they trying to get you in trouble? Or was there something else going on?

What would you do?

A. Let the employee know you expect concerns to come to you before being escalated.

B. Talk with your manager first to get the full story before deciding whether to address it with the employee.

C. Let it go unless it happens again; one incident may not be worth creating more tension.

D. Meet privately with the employee and ask what led them to take the concern above you.

Let's Walk Through the Options

A. Reinforce the Chain of Command

There’s value in having clear communication channels. Employees should generally know where to take questions, problems, and concerns.

Yet there’s also a risk...

If your first conversation centers on what they did wrong, you may never learn what caused them to bypass you in the first place.

You may establish the rule while missing the real issue.

B. Get More Information From Your Manager

Getting context before reacting is usually a wise move. Your manager may be able to tell you what the employee said, how serious the concern was, and whether there’s information you didn’t have.

Yet be careful not to have the entire conversation about the employee without the employee.

Eventually, you two still need to have a heart-to-heart.

C. Don't Make It Bigger Than It Is

Not every workplace issue requires a major intervention. Perhaps the employee made a judgment call. Maybe they didn’t realize you expected them to approach you first.

Addressing it aggressively could make an awkward situation even worse. On the other hand, ignoring it leaves an important question unanswered:

Why did they go around you?

If there’s a trust or communication problem underneath the behavior, waiting for it to happen again may allow that problem to grow.

D. Have the Conversation

Before deciding that the employee was disrespectful or that they simply ignored the chain of command, find out what happened.

You might say:

“I understand you spoke with my manager about your concern. Help me understand what led you to handle it that way.”

Then listen.

Perhaps they didn't think you could resolve the issue. Maybe they were uncomfortable approaching you. Maybe they had raised concerns before and didn't feel heard.

Or perhaps they simply handled the situation poorly.

The conversation gives you the opportunity to find out.

What Would SRD Do?

We’d choose D.

Start with curiosity before correction.

Going over your head doesn't automatically mean an employee was trying to undermine your authority.

Asking why doesn't mean you're excusing their decision.

You can still clarify expectations about how concerns should normally be handled. Plus, you'll be in a much better position to do that after you understand what drove the behavior.

Sometimes the most important question isn't:

“Why did you go over my head?”

It’s:

“What made you feel you couldn't come to me?”

The Takeaway

Strong leadership isn't just about creating an open-door policy. It's making sure employees actually believe they can walk through the door.

If communication gaps are turning into workplace conflict, SRD can help your leaders have the conversations that keep small issues from becoming bigger ones.

📞 Book a free 45-minute consultation TODAY and discover how we can help you!